After watching all of the celebrity sex tapes available - and after copious cold showers - we present to you a ranked list, from worst to first. Everything from cinematography to dialogue to, of course, actual sex was called into question to determine the rankings. You'll notice we used the academic grading scale as opposed to, for instance, "four out of five dicks," because, again, we're not perverts. That very much includes Mr. Let's just say these actresses ladies are neither of them a Kelly Kapowski. The only times after this that you actually see his face are when he swings the camera around for a reaction shot.
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